JUST PLAIN “WHY?” Why do people (just) say “Why?” I often wonder about that. Sometimes it can make me feel more than a little irritated. Are they really trying to advance our conversation or are there other reasons for the choice of that singular query? Asking questions is a logical and an acceptable way get a better grasp of what the other person is trying to say. I get that! However, when I am serious about pursuing a conversation, I send a somewhat more elaborate set of words back to the other person. These words are meant to explain what I have understood, so far. They are also designed to help my fellow conversant to clarify their last response, to formulate an entirely new response or to segue into a related subject which we can also discuss. When a person responds to me with (only) “Why,” I sense one of several causes:
* They have not been listening to me
* They are just buying time.
* They have debate team experience. (Questions=Control=Win)
* They have their mind made up and further discussion equals me continuously defending my position.
* They really don’t care about continuing the topic.but cannot come right out and say that fact.
* They have grown to think of any verbal conversation in terms of the brevity of texting.
* They think I am boring to them. (Not totally unlikely) Then just say so.
* They just want to irritate me. As you can see after this analysis...they usually succeed at this.
Well, unless you say more than just “Why.” to me, you are guilty of all of the above, especially the “irritate me” part. At times like this, I have to fight the impulse to shout back, "Why NOT ! ”
* They have not been listening to me
* They are just buying time.
* They have debate team experience. (Questions=Control=Win)
* They have their mind made up and further discussion equals me continuously defending my position.
* They really don’t care about continuing the topic.but cannot come right out and say that fact.
* They have grown to think of any verbal conversation in terms of the brevity of texting.
* They think I am boring to them. (Not totally unlikely) Then just say so.
* They just want to irritate me. As you can see after this analysis...they usually succeed at this.
Well, unless you say more than just “Why.” to me, you are guilty of all of the above, especially the “irritate me” part. At times like this, I have to fight the impulse to shout back, "Why NOT ! ”